a charity supporting parents & carers of challenging children

HELPP Help Education and Learning for Parents by Parents accepts no liability for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided in this web-site. We are not medical professionals and we are not giving any medical or professional advice or service through the publication or distribution of articles or comments on this web-site. Individuals with suspected or diagnosed disorders or syndromes, or any conditions discussed on this web-site should consult with a qualified professional for advice concerning diagnosis and treatment. HELPP is a Registered Charity, No: 1139691. HELPP is a Private Limited Company, No: 7434496. Copyright 2014 KieronDSmith all rights reserved.  Revised: 29 October 2014  


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Tips for parents - Asking your child to do something

Say your child’s name before giving an instruction.

.....“George, come in now. It’s time for tea.” 

This way you get their attention before you speak. 

Wait until your child is looking at you before you speak.

.....“George, look at me, George.” 

Keep the focus on what you have asked your child to do. 

Ignore any, huffing, sulking, butting in, answering back and arguing. 

Say “Thanks” and leave the room.

“George, can you tidy up those books for me? Thanks.” 

This shows that you expect it will be done and leaves no room for an argument 

Offer choices you are happy with and which help your child feel that they have some say

“George, you need to tidy your toys now. Shall I help you or can you do it by yourself?” 

“George, are you going to do your homework now or after tea?” 

Turn your negative statements into positive statements.

Instead of “don’t run off” try “stay with me.” 

When you put a ‘demand’ into question form,

........, you are giving your child some say in the situation, even if you do not mean to 

"Will you come and sit to the table and eat with us?" 

When you do this, you are asking your child a question, to which they think of as totally up to them. 

Instead of asking this, try "It's time to eat, come and sit to the table."