Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Are You There Vodka It s Me Chelsea When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest she appeals to a higher power vodka You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had

  • Title: Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
  • Author: Chelsea Handler
  • ISBN: 9780743573641
  • Page: 162
  • Format: Audio CD
  • When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power vodka You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class Welcome to Chelsea s world a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is thWhen Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power vodka You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class Welcome to Chelsea s world a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense.In this hilarious, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous Whether she s convincing her third grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn s daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum swilling little person who looks just like her only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations Are You There, Vodka It s Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.

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      Published :2020-05-02T14:12:40+00:00

    About “Chelsea Handler”

    1. Chelsea Handler

      Chelsea Handler has become one of entertainment s most sought after and versatile rising stars In July 2007, Chelsea broke into the world of late night talk shows with her E Entertainment series, Chelsea Lately airing weeknights at 11 00 p.m Consistently the network s highest rated program, Chelsea Lately offers a tongue in cheek look at entertainment news, celebrity truths, and rumors that just won t die, along with other hot topics of the day Bringing refreshing new energy to and redefining perceptions of the talk show, Chelsea Lately is an authentic and hilarious commentary on the celebrity culture around us Both Handler and the show have also been recognized as pioneers in late night with the show boasting five female writers to account for half of its writing staff This is unprecedented in the late night arena that has historically been dominated by male hosts and writers.In addition to her wildly successful television series, Chelsea is equally well known as a best selling author On March 28, 2010, she achieved a spectacular feat when her three books took the 1, 2, and 3 spots on the New York Times Best Seller list Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, from Grand Central Publishing, was the 1 nonfiction hardcover Are You There, Vodka It s Me, Chelsea, from Simon Spotlight Entertainment, was the 2 nonfiction paperback and My Horizontal Life, from Bloomsbury, was the 3 nonfiction paperback In hardcover, Are You There, Vodka It s Me, Chelseadebuted at 1 on the New York Times Best Seller list when published in April 2008, and My Horizontal Life has been a bestseller for 80 weeks As a testament to her versatility and tireless work ethic, Chelsea s 21 city comedy tour, also entitled Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang and sponsored by Belvedere Vodka, kicked off in March 2010 After tickets sold out immediately, Live Nation added 15 shows As one of the nation s most acclaimed and cutting edge comedians, Handler delivers a sharp combination of fearless honesty, ironic riffs, and self deprecations with no shortage of material.With her roots in both stand up comedy and television, Chelsea was also the star of Oxygen s Girls Behaving Badly now syndicated in over 90 markets for all of its four seasons She also starred on E in The Chelsea Handler Show In 2007 2008, Chelsea starred with Jenny McCarthy and Leah Remini in the hugely popular MSN online web series In The Motherhood.In March 2009, Chelsea was honored the prestigious Ally for Equality Award by the Human Rights Campaign, recognizing the outstanding efforts of those who dedicate time, energy, spirit and whole hearted commitment to better the lives of LGBT people She continues to be an influential and dedicated advocate for the LGBT community.Handler, who grew up in New Jersey, currently resides in Los Angeles.

    183 thoughts on “Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea”

    1. Horrible. Chelsea Lately is a great show, and Chelsea Handler a talented comedian. But this book is bad. A colossal disappointment. The whole crass “shock value” thing wears thin really quickly. I might have laughed a couple of times, but not enough to warrant even a second star.


    2. Cutting edge, funny sexy stories. Having seen Chelsea doing stand up and on Girls Behaving Badly, I was anxious to see how her wicked sarcastic wit would translate into text. It's fantastic! A seriously gifted writer, who combines funny and raunchy better than any woman.I mean wild, hilarious and uninhibited story telling. And it's not just the sheer ridiculous situations she encounters. She reflects about her mindless journeys and the meaning of life in such an amusing, self-deprecating cynical [...]


    3. Admittedly, I don't usually read books like this, but found Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea to be an overall entertaining collection. The first four essays were, far and away, the 'best' in the collection. Until reading this book, I had no familiarity with Handler. Totally underwhelming and inconsistently hilarious. Admittedly, the parts that were funny really were fantastic. However, Chelsea Handler glosses over and re-arranges life events in order to align them just so - and thusly make [...]


    4. Ah Chelsea, Hilarious. Read this on the plane ride back from atlanta. She never disappoints and I'm certain i annoyed rows 18 and 20 of Airtran Flight 176, and possibly rows 17 and 21 at certain points in the book with my laughter. Would recommend it to anyone :)


    5. This sort of book and the positive outpouring for it make me really feel like I must have missed the boat somewhere in the last couple decades of culture or something. Maybe it is that I have never seen Handler's stand-up and came to this book expecting something a little bit different. Perhaps Handler's shtick is that she is merely making a tongue-in-cheek imitation of the cliche "mean girl" that we all know from our high school days. But without being let in on the charade, I found connecting [...]


    6. Buhwahahaha! This woman is easily the funniest woman in the entertainment industry. Yes, she's rude and crude, and definitely not for the prude. But I just can't help it. I love her. She brings out the evil maniacal laugh in me, if case you didn't already notice.Since her other book is entitled "My Horizontal Life : A Collection of One-Night Stands", you can be fairly certain this book will also include sexual content as well as a lot of adult language. So if those make you uncomfortable, don't [...]


    7. Before I say anything regarding my rating of this book, it needs to be said how much I love Chelsea Handler. I love Chelsea Lately, and I love her standup routines. She is a spunky, hilarious individual, and I have always admired her for that. I was really excited to read this book, because so many of my friends have enjoyed it and because I am a Chelsea enthusiast. Unfortunately, this book didn't do anything for me. Sure, the anecdotes were funny at times, but I think I would have received them [...]


    8. This book was just as much fun as Handler's first but possibly darker. Not that she got meaner or grosser but in this book I was often wondering, since for the most part, Handler does seem to actually wish to not overtly hurt anyone's feelings, how obvious it was to the people discussed that they were subjects. Some of them seemed to deserve it but nonetheless, this newer book seemed meaner. Handler has fantastic stories- I don't care if she has made them all up. I think her books are being mark [...]


    9. Okay, I sent this back to the libraryhalf way through. It started to collect dust and when it was reading time, I just didn't want to pick it up. The library was begging for it back and I figured after 7 weeks, I wasn't going to finish it. I got this book because Chelsea's show is funny and sometimes outrageous. I wanted to know more about her, but it is so couched in comedy(what did I expect, right?) that it's mildly disappointing. I liked the book (at least the half I read), it's funny, howeve [...]


    10. Are you there Vodka? It’s Me ChelseaEverything about this book is clever, starting with the title. To any Judy Blume fan, the parody is obvious, but even the less-informed reader (to whom I will now impart the title of Blume’s novel, Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret) would find this title an apt one. Are you there Vodka? chronicles Chelsea Handler’s sexual antics across all realms, from weddings, to summer flings, to family vacations, and while the men (and midgets…) vary widely, o [...]


    11. What was I thinking when I put this book on my list of audios that I wanted my audioflix service to send me? Oh well, give it a try, I thought, as I slid the first disk into the proper slot in the minivan. Well, I'm glad that I still have my lightening reflexes and battle tested driving skills because I was careening down the interstate laughing out loud at this book while going 80 miles per hour (and you thought that driving while talking on the telephone was dangerous). Chelsea Handler picks s [...]


    12. Ah, I had high hopes for this book. I mean, for crying out loud, it has VODKA in the title! When I first heard about it, I thought I'd need to go hunt down a copy, but then life intervened. So - how many years later? Six? I finally decided to just do it - just get this book and read it.Little did I know I'd actually have to be DRINKING vodka to appreciate this book.Unfortunately, I read this book stone cold sober.First of all, I barely know who Chelsea Handler is. I mean, that's crazy, right? I [...]


    13. Chelsea Handler's uninhibited storytelling and vulgar sense of humor make for a fun read. She has a gift for storytelling that will keep you laughing through each unbelievable and sometimes embarrassing real-life journey. This book is full of good, inappropriate fun. If you offend easily, you probably should not read it. Otherwise, have a good laugh!


    14. I’d read quite a few 5-star reviews of this book and when, after the first chapter, it didn’t immediately grab me, I decided I would be contrary and choose to hate it. Luckily, I found a lot more to like beyond the first chapter, so I can put aside my contrarian impulses and say I found it an enjoyable read.Vodka takes the form of a series of anecdotes from Handler’s life, encompassing friendships, relationships and, notably, alcohol. The first chapter, in which a 9-year-old Chelsea tells [...]


    15. This is the first book I've ever read by Chelsea. I obviously know who she is, I do not live under a rock, but I've never see any of her shows, her routines or even realized she was on Girls Behaving Badly. I've seen clips of her here and there and thought that she was pretty funny and that Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea looked like an entertaining book. And I was right it was definitely entertaining!Where to start with this book?! It was so wrong on so many levels but oh so funny! I mean [...]


    16. I picked up this copy of Chelsea Handler’s humor memoir because I thought the title was hilarious. The rest of the book did not disappoint.Handler is an LA-based stand-up comic who has written a collection of personal essays about random events from her life. In the first piece—in which she convinces her entire grade school that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the non-existent Private Benjamin 2—she comes across as so over the top I felt like I was reading more of a w [...]


    17. This woman deserves the nobel prize. It's just not fair that we all don't have the talent and intelligence to make everyone laugh this hard for 2 hours straight. The world would be a better place. I couldn't put it down. My favorite story was her midget fetish- oh wait sorry, "healthy obsession". Dude that's just so far over the line that she erased the line.


    18. Yes please.I started this because I need something to laugh at. I was sitting at my desk this morning just laughing out loud and generally annoying my co-workers. They're just jealous that I can listen to my ipod in the morning while they have to count money.So far my favorite line of hers is something like, "Today I got my first DWI. I've only had one, but I don't want to rule anything out." Not that DWIs are funny. Well, in this case, they are.I'm a bad person.*********This book is frigging am [...]


    19. I enjoyed Chelsea Handler's first book, My Horizontal Life. It was self-deprecatingly funny, and I imagined that a lot of the things that happened in the book actually happened to Ms. Handler.Her new book is over-the-top and unflattering to her family. She could learn something from David Sedaris and other humorist writers about how to write about one's family and life with some wit and subtlety.And jokes about race and abortion are just not my cup of tea.What a disappointment.


    20. This is the funniest book I have listened to in a really long time. To say Handler has a funny bone is putting it mildly. I was cracking up so hard and loud people glared at me. Seriously, glared.Handler has taken bits of her life or someone's life and made an amazing story out of it. I only wish I had her other books now. Alas, I'm on that eternal hold list at the library. If you need a good laugh I would definitely recommend Handler!



    21. I agree with Michelleude and lewd but hilarious. Chelsea Handler is like Dennis Miller. Very funnyt for the faint of heart.


    22. I really enjoy Chesea Handler's books. Granted, she has some timeline issues (as a pop culture expert, I just grate my teeth and move on when shows/movies/what-have-you are referenced well before their time), and whoever is proofing her books REALLY needs to do some punctuation checks. That being said, she is so unpretentious and raw, which is a nice change from the uber-polished essays of late. She's not trying to be anything but funny, and really, that's refreshing. I think her next book shoul [...]


    23. Chelsea Handler is raucous. That's the best term I have for her. She's just too much. Her stories can be hilarious, but they seem ridiculous, over the top, try-hard. It's like she was like "What's funny? I know, vaginas! Well I'll dye mine purple, and then make it burp the national anthem in pig latin! That's SUPER-funny!"Sure I guess. I laughed, but I think things are funnier when they are less LOOK-AT-ME, more of a dry, sarcastic wit. There was that too, but *shrug* Some of her stories just se [...]


    24. Living in a vacuum I had no clue who Chelsae handler was. A friend recommended the book but I wasn't that impressed.


    25. Stand-up comedy is very difficult to translate into essay form, and obviously it helps to be a fan of the comedian first. Since I'm totally unfamiliar with Handler, that may account for how underwhelmed I am by her book. It seems most reviewers loved this book in particular, and Chelsea Handler in general, but I agree with another one-star reviewer who said: "But without being let in on the charade, I found connecting with Handler throughout the book to be basically impossible." It's not that I [...]


    26. I'd really been looking forward to reading Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea, saving it up for a day when I needed a laugh or three. Sadly it barely raised a smile. The narcisistic and self indulgent style of the essay's just didn't appeal, I prefer something a little more self deprecating. It's always refreshing to escape the PC police but Chelsea went overboard, tipping into contrived irreverence. Her midget obsession was disturbing rather than amusing.Poking fun at someone is not the same [...]


    27. The Good: I liked Are You There Vodka so much more than My Horizontal Life. I actually kind of get why people really like Chelsea Handler and are interested in her life and stories. This book didn't shy away from her sexuality, but rather just put its main focus on the ludicrous situations she gets herself into without a common theme. She comes across as very humorous in this collection and it may very well motivate me to read some of her other books.The Bad: You still have to take Handler with [...]


    28. I had no idea what this book was about and had never heard of Chelsea Handler but was curious about the title which caught my eye. While she is witty and boasts some excellent repartee that elicited some laughs from me, that was not enough to redeem her vapid character and desire to entertain by shock value. My only question was whether people like her actually inhabit the same planet as I do.


    29. Ok so I started this. It is an easy read. I finished the first chapter in 10 minutes, but I can tell you that in my opinion it is starting out annoyingly stupid.Update: I am done. I almost made it through chapter 6. I can't stand any more. Who thinks it is funny to joke about driving drunk OFTEN and sleeping with multiple men at the same time? One star. I am moving on.


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